This was a card at Target.
I laughed for fucking ever.
Should have bought this for my cousins
the first and the last look
riding your man like
it’s so fucking hard to be body positive when i’m constantly being told how fat i am
If I’m comfortable with you, I’ll:
- call you names
- tell you weird and personal details about myself
- say “I NEED TO PEE” instead of just brb
- type in caps a lot.
If i’m extra comfortable with you I’ll do all that and:
- talk casually about porn and really perverted thoughts
- share funny photos from my tumblr dash
- actually tell you when i’m upset
- try to make conversation with you
- just generally act really silly when I’m in a good mood
- tell you jokes even if they’re bad
That’s it that’s the film
money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a false sense of security and fruity alcoholic beverages to numb the pain and honestly what’s the difference
WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON WIHT HTE MILK ONE????
IS THAT PERSON SERIOUSLY ATTEMPTING TO CUT BREAD WITH A FUCKING DOORSTOP
Dude, they’re angels. They don’t know what they’re doing yet!
I was standing in line at dairy queen and I saw an elderly lady crying because she didn’t have enough money to pay for her small blizzard, so I bought her a large and helped her out to her car, and she cried and said ” I hope god made someone just for you out in the world so that they can treat you as special as you are” and I am sobbing right now.
i cant draw the thing
sympathy for the devil
so this morning my dad said
“hey we got some tomatos”
and i walk into the kITCHEN AND THE ENTIRE TABLE WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN TOMATOS LIKE DAD THAT IS NOT SOME TOMATOS THAT IS A FUCKLOAD OF TOMATOS
WHRE DID YOU EVEN GET ALL OF THESE TOMATOS
JUST IN CASE YOU FUCKERS THOUGH TI WAS JOKING